Adventures in Electronics

Folks who come here often might notice I haven't been here lately.  I have been pretty busy since moving to Florida last year. And most of all, especially in regards to this blog, if I'm being honest, we have not hooked our game systems up yet. 

The PS3 is of course hooked up, as that is our portal to play DVDs and Blu-Rays as well as PS3 games, but that's it.  Other than the PS3, we have a variety of old school gaming systems, including the PlayStation2, the Atari 2600, the original Nintendo Entertainment System, and the SuperNES, not to mention our old Game Boy. 

Our friend Dave was over and we went to the mall.  One of our regular haunts there is the non-franchise gaming store with old games - because of course we have old game systems.  The Bride was enamored with a Dance Dance Revolution X game with mat for the PS2.  As the conversation turned to how our PS2 wasn't hooked up, Dave, nice guy that he is, volunteered to hook all our systems up.  Dave's a saint. 

An afternoon and a couple trips to Best Buy later, we had them all connected and working, a miracle.  And after I played Super Godzilla for the SNES for awhile, The Bride danced her heart out to DDRX for a bit.  We're happy, and the blog is back in business, thanks, Dave! 

These Are Still Not the Games You're Looking For…

Last time I talked about Warlords, and how when I downloaded the PS3 demo, it really wasn't what I expected from my memories of the Atari 2600 version from years gone by. This next demo was nothing like what I expected. We're talking about Journey.

Back in the early 1980s, when videogames, the band Journey, and the Atari 2600 were all on the rise, the three merged in a wonderful way - Journey the videogame. At the height of their popularity, Journey lent their images, their music, and some would say their souls to an arcade game, and later an Atari 2600 cartridge.

The graphics in the game, correctly titled Journey Escape, were what they were for the time, the music was midis of Journey songs from the best-selling Escape album, and your job was to get the band, one member at a time, past obstacles (groupies, managers, and standard game menaces) and to the show. The show must go on. If you won, you got a mini limited graphic Journey concert.

The Bride is a huge Journey and Steve Perry fan to this day and loves this game, in both versions. I get it, I do. I feel the same way about games based on comics. It's fun and dumb, but you still love it. When we bought an Atari 2600 knock off a decade or so back, we searched yard sales and farmers markets until we found a good well loved copy of the cartridge, and it still brings joy.

The PS3 demo called Journey is something else altogether, and has zero to do with Steve Perry and company, absolutely zero. Journey is one of those games, similar to Flower, with amazing graphics, ominous soundtrack, and character and scene movement that syncs with how you hold the controller. It is also one of those frustrating games that has you searching online for instructions, or even just an explanation.

You are a little alien dude, looking like a cross between a Jawa and an Imperial Guard, walking through an alien desert. It's pretty, but I don't get it. In my internet search I learned it's won several awards and the score was nominated for a Grammy. The music also responds to your actions, which is pretty cool. The object is to reach a mountain in the distance. Not sure it can be done, but it certainly is a Journey.

The PS3 game is a work of beauty, but not really my thing honestly, and at least Journey the band has won a Grammy. Ha. I know. The PS3 is gorgeous, but the Atari is more fun. Enjoy your Journey.

Zen and the Art of Pinball

Okay, those of you who read this blog, as well as Welcome to Hell and French Fry Diary, know that I was a sheltered child, and that I am no videogame genius. The truth is I was also a pretty dumb kid.

Outside of television, I had never seen a pinball machine until I was around ten, and that was in my uncle's basement. We visited and while the adults chatted upstairs I was supposed to keep myself occupied with the pinball machine in the basement for a couple hours. So I played my three or four balls, badly, mind you, then waited it out down there for my parents to be done visiting. Yeah, that's right, I had no idea there was a button to push to start over.

And that was my first pinball experience. Did I mention I was a pretty dumb kid?

Later, years later, when The Sweet Shop opened on my hometown main street Atco Avenue, and when I started going to Malibu Grand Prix, I did learn the basics, as well as the more subtle ways of the silver ball. I was never very good, but I had come a long way from that dumb kid in his uncle's basement.

While dating the woman who would eventually become The Bride I got my real education. She is the real player, getting multiple free games and lots of play time out of a single quarter. Watching her I learned how to work the flippers, move the machine, and finesse the ball. Damn, she's good. And she would little to no interest in the PS3 game Zen Pinball.

Much like the Atari Pinball game (although with graphics eons ahead of it), this is still a videogame. No matter how pretty, how stunning, how super high def these tables are - these are not real tables. Push buttons all you like, you cannot finesse this ball. Perhaps Zen Pinball is fun for those with no pinball background, but not for those of us even with a limited understanding of real pinball.

It is noteworthy that there are some cool tables, including some based on Street Fighter and Ninja Gaiden, and the graphics are outstanding. Pretty, but not playable in a pinball way.

The Simpsons - Still Tapping

I talked about this one before, The Simpsons Tapped Out. Well, I'm still playing it on my phone. A lot of the folks who were playing when I started have stopped or just faded away, but really I continue to enjoy it.

I have tried other games of its ilk. A few Sims things, Megapolis, stuff like that. But it's just not the same, and I don't like them, so keep your Farmville requests away from me please. It's the familiarity of the characters and the situations that appeals to me. So with that logic, I have to wonder why DC Comics with their amazing fictional cities or Marvel Comics with their fantastic Marvel Universe New York City haven't jumped on the bandwagon. I would be all over either of those two games.

There is one thing I do wonder about however. Where do folks get all the donuts from? Donuts are the currency in this game, and you get one or two per level (currently 27 is the highest level), or you can buy them outright. When a new building is available I see folks who get it immediately, no matter if it's only costs a handful of donuts or hundreds of donuts. Do people really buy that much for one of these games? That's a serious cash put out…

New updates happen all the time, some relating to holidays, or upcoming episodes, or even very Simpsons-centric things like Whacking Day, currently going on. If you want to add me to your Other Springfields, you can find me at monsura2 or if you want, help The Bride out at glenifer. We'll both still be tapping away.

Jeopardy!

Until its latest incarnation, syndicated at seven at night with Alex Trebek for the last couple decades, I had never seen "Jeopardy!" which I know is pretty odd, especially for a pop culture guy like me. I was aware of the Art Fleming version, and got all the jokes in "Weird Al" Yankovic's "I Lost on Jeopardy," but had no real frame of reference. The current version, begun in 1984, that continues today, is, of course, a pop culture phenomenon.

It's kind of appropriate that I'm reviewing the Jeopardy! game demo for PS3 here today because Jeopardy! was actually the first computer game I ever saw. When The Bride and I were first dating, she showed the game to me on her amazing four megabyte Apple II computer. At the time, the salesman told her that she would never need a computer with more than four megabytes. Ain't the future great?

That brings us full circle to Jeopardy! on the PS3. The game has some nice features like the ability to create a contestant. The graphics are cartoony, and Alex Trebek is creepy like that, and even creepier without his moustache. The game does use his voice though, which gives the game some authenticity.

There are complaints. You can only answer questions in two categories per round. Not cool. It also makes the games shorter, despite the end credits of the show seeming longer than in real life. The answers are multiple choice, which I suppose makes it easier. And of course, there no worry about putting your answer in the form of a question, but that's okay for me.

Now it should be noted that the multiple choice is only on the easy mode, but still. And just for the record, I encountered the same questions in the easy mode and the hard mode - the difference was in the latter I had to spell out the answers. Seems like a glitch to me. I wanted different questions. Oh well, Jeopardy! was fun while it lasted, and better than a four megabyte game.

Barcade and the Frustration of Getting Old

A few months back The Bride and I attended a birthday party for two friends, at a place in the Philadelphia/Fishtown area called Barcade. Barcade is exactly what it sounds like, a bar/arcade. It has a couple dozen old school arcade games, and an assortment of local and obtuse brews, all for a quarter - the games, not the beers, that is.

I was stunned to how close to an arcade of the good old days this place was, what with the variety of games and their placement around the bar area. They even had high scores posted. They had a bar menu, but no fries. But it's all good, they carded me, the first time that's happened in years, so I was very happy.

When I looked around at the selection of games, at first I had little interest, then as I walked around, and got a closer look my memory kicked in… I realized I had done time, serious time, with all of them at one point or another in my younger years. Among the games at Barcade: OutRun, Gauntlet, Ms. Pac-Man, Mr. Do!, Golden Axe, Track & Field, Frogger, BurgerTime, Centipede, Double Dragon, Punch-Out!!, Tetris, and Robotron 2084, just to name a few. A full list can be found here.

Spy Hunter, Rampage, Tempest, Dig Dug, Paper Boy, Space Invaders, Galaxian, Joust. I knew them all intimately. And yet I was no longer capable of playing them. The muscles and reflexes honed to each particular set of skills for each game had deteriorated over the years of disuse. Man, playing videogames sure wasn't like riding a bike, you can't just get back on. In other words, I was old.

Lead photo by John Donges.

The Ghost of Portal

I hate Q. You know, Q from "Star Trek The Next Generation." Or more accurately I hate John de Lancie, who provides the voice that annoys in the game Quantum Conundrum.

More than a year ago, maybe two, when I discovered what a great place for customer service the Marlton Game Stop was (sadly, it's gone now), I asked for a gift recommendation for The Bride, who at the time was well immersed in Portal. I wanted something like Portal for when she finally finished Portal. A game that was not yet out was suggested - Quantum Conundrum.

The game never came out. At least that I know of. I looked and asked and asked and looked, but for the most part no one else had heard of it. Imagine my surprise when it showed up as a download from the PlayStation Store. It was quickly purchased and brought to the attention of The Bride. Happy way late Christmas/Birthday/whatever present. She took to it, like, well, like The Bride to Portal.

In the game John de Lancie voices Professor Fitz Quadwrangle, who much like like GLaDOS in Portal, never shuts up. It's to the point of madness, and it's not even about cake this time. The professor's house has become a maze of alternate dimensions, and you the player, his nephew, have to navigate your way through the house, with the help of his clueless disembodied voice, until the house and the professor are all back in the same right dimension.

Quantum Conundrum is a puzzle game, so it infuriates me almost as much as de Lancie's voice annoys me. I can't play it, but The Bride loves it, so I can't complain.

Somebody's Been Watching Way Too Much Tim Burton…

Just the introduction of Scarygirl made me want to run out of the mall Hot Topic I was trapped in and throw up whatever hallucinogenic drug I had accidentally swallowed. Then I realized I was neither at the mall nor at a Tim Burton movie marathon. I was in my living room with the downloaded demo of Scarygirl. Sigh. At least I can delete it when I'm done writing about it, or at least that's how I felt before playing it.

Scarygirl is based on the gothic graphic novel by Nathan Jurevicius and can probably be found at Hot Topic more often than your local comics shop. No offense meant, but it is 2012, and this whole Goth thing was over some time ago, like probably about the time "South Park" got wind of it. If you're still Goth now, you're either a vampire, living in the past, or really really committed - or all three. Again, no offense, The Bride leans that way sometimes, and I still love her.

Scarygirl is the story of a Goth chick who looks like a Tim Burton ragdoll and meets a friendly octopus who's kind of obsessed with her. There are bunnies and owls and all manner of oddities along her way, but Scarygirl is a Goth chick with a mission, and that mission is to find out what's what with a nightmare she keeps having. I think. I kinda dozed off.

Now all that said, gameplay is something else altogether. It's still looks like Tim Burton threw up all over the screen, and the images are a bit disturbing, but it was fun, and even though it was a demo, I got a lot of play out of it, and for me, that's saying something. It's a fun world to explore, notably more fun to me than say Little BIG Planet or certainly Incredible Hulk. This is a platformer (see, I'm learning) definitely worth playing, thumbs up from the Non-Gamer.

Late Night Kitchen Adventure

I have insomnia. Anyone who follows my Twitter, or my Miso which feeds into my Twitter know this, as they have watched me rip through entire seasons of television series in the dead of night. Yes, it's true, not being able to sleep at night, the devil does make work for idle hands. I still write from time to time when I can't sleep, watching TV on my iPhone is recent bad habit.

When I first got married, playing Atari was my can't-sleep go-to. We inherited The Bride's grandmother's condo, and with it, most of her furnishings. Thus we had a tiny TV in the kitchen, one without cable. No cable, so not much point in watching it, but I got the bright idea to hook my old Atari 2600 up to it.

Now when I say 'old' Atari, it's not an original system. It is one of those wannabe Gemini systems popular in the mid-1980s when Atari was having its first nostalgia resurgence. Back in the day, the Ataris I played belonged to seemingly everyone else in the world but me. This was my first Atari, circa 1985. The months after the purchase were spent madly collecting old 2600 games I loved years earlier at places like decrepit K-Marts, dead Kiddie Cities, and the Berlin Farmers Market.

One of the prizes of that game search was Adventure. Back in the day, this was the closest we had to a Dungeons & Dragons video game. There was no Warcraft, or Diablo, or even Bard's Tale, just this great little vague pixilated game full of fun and forced imagination. This was a game with buzz, with everyone talking about what may or may not be the first videogame Easter egg - the dust speck. More on that later.

In Adventure, you were a small square that moved via joystick through a maze visiting castles of different colors seeking out keys, the sword, and finally the chalice. Along the way you had to dodge or kill the three dragons - Yorgle, Rhindle and Grundle (how's that for having a brain that's a vast storehouse of useless knowledge?). There was also a bridge that allowed you to pass through obstacles, and the mysterious dust speck hidden in the wall that led you to the game designer's credit. Now that's what the dust speck really did, although there was much speculation as to its other abilities.

It's a fun but simple game, and by simple I don't mean to imply easy at all. There was quite a lot of difficulty to it. And there still is. I play it today on my iPhone with the Atari's Greatest Hits app. I miss the days of the original Atari, except for waiting my turn, which was maddening with Adventure, but most of all, I miss my insomniac late night kitchen adventures, they were the best.

The Rejected

Once learning that I could download game demos from the PlayStation Store, I have been a downloadin' maniac. And once I figured out that if I didn't like them, I could delete them… I've downloaded even more and more. This blog entry is about some of the games that didn't make the cut for me, and why.

Heavy Rain ~ I remember a few years back when this game initially came out. It was a big, big deal. It was called "an interactive drama psychological thriller video game." Besides being a mouthful of adjectives and noun, it was also supposed to have phenomenal special effects. In the one sequence I was able to see, and not get past, yes, the effects were pretty cool, but again, as I said, I was pretty much just stuck in this one alley and couldn't go anywhere else. With my low patience tolerance, I deleted this one fairly quickly.

Marvel Pinball ~ While I am a big Marvel Comics fan, I am not much of a pinball player, especially not in a video game where you really can't move the machine or 'finesse' the ball where you want it to go. The Bride however is a big pinballer, both real and video. I figured this would be a good game for us both to play. Sadly, after many attempts, I have yet to make this one download. There is always a problem. Oh well.

Rocketmen: Axis of Evil ~ Along with Ghostbusters and the similarly titled Rocketbirds, this game is just too damned loud. Every time I passed by it while looking for another game, the volume of it would blast so loud for just the second the cursor paused on it - I eventually just deleted to make the noise stop. I still have no idea if it's any good or not. It certainly looked intriguing in a Dragon's Lair anime way.

Lemmings ~ I love Lemmings, and on the PC version of this game I rocked it, and enjoyed it immensely. I loved Lemmings and as I said I was pretty good - no such luck with the PS3 version. It reminded me a bit of the PS3 Elevator Action (which I'm sure I'll talk about here sooner or later), as it resembles the original game but has different dynamics and controls. I couldn't do it. So because I was ashamed of not being good at a game I used to be good at - I deleted Lemmings.

Seeing how inept I am at this gaming stuff, and how enthusiastic I am at downloading free demos, I'm sure this list will only grow. Time will tell.

Infamously Better

One of the reasons I have never been much of a gamer, and the PS3 with its aversion to multiple player games is a big culprit, because I dislike the 'turn wait.' That is to say, I don't like waiting for my turn at a game when the other player is infinitely better at it than me. This reared its ugly head back in the Nintendo days when The Bride and I used to play Super Mario Bros., and her turn would last for hours. It was also the reason I preferred Dr. Mario as we could both play that at the same time.

The night I talked about a while ago when Jeff and Crystal came over and played the demos, they just didn't whup my butt at Zombie Apocalypse and Nucleus, they also tried their hands at Watchmen and my favorite, Infamous. I was not disappointed by the long long looong turn wait.

In Watchmen, I had gotten past the wonderful Dave Gibbons motion comic animated art from the original Watchmen comics that form the introduction, but had barely moved anywhere in the prison break. I did find it annoying that whoever you picked to play - Rorschach or Nite Owl II - the other would just stand there doing nothing. Not realistic. Jeff and Crystal ripped through the prison break like they were the real characters.

Then they moved on to the Infamous demo. I had never gotten past zapping folks and cars with electrical powers, and riding to the first station atop the train. For those who don't know, that's really not far. Fun, but not far. That keen mutant skill, of both Jeff, and Crystal, derived from years of gaming experience, kicked in and soon they were sailing far ahead in the game and fighting bad guys that I had never even glimpsed in my hours (yes, hours) of playing this game.

The Bride who had watched me play the same two or three scenes from Infamous multiple times, was treated to almost an entirely new movie never seen before. The turn wait was starting to get to her as well, so then they moved on to Little BIG Planet 2. Three people can play that at once.

This turn wait was much longer. I went to bed. When I got up in the morning, I swore I was gonna practice. Years of experience can't be that hard...

The Universal Language

The Bride and I went to Finland a few years back to see the Eurovision Song Contest finals in Helsinki. For the night of the finals, The Bride got a ticket but I did not. So I ended up at a party in the city. These were friends of friends, and only a few folks there spoke English. As it happened however, many of the people at the people were similarly 'orphaned' with partners at the actual show. What was odd, was that there were many people there who did not just speak English, but did not even speak the same language. There was Finnish, Japanese, English, etc., it was a house party of Babel.

When I arrived at the party there were still a few hours left before Eurovision came on TV. So there was a roomful of folks, eating and drinking, and sitting in front of a big screen television - but no one was talking. Well, we tried to talk, we just weren't doing very well at actually communicating.

Then someone turned on the game thingy and we all began taking turns playing a game. It was a simple game, understandable to all of us, and we bonded quite quickly while playing and taking turns. The game was about microscopic creatures eating smaller microscopic creatures while trying not to be eaten by even bigger ones. As the main little guy got bigger and evolved, so did the prey and the predators. It was fun, and by the time Eurovision started, we were all pretty much Babel friends. I never knew what the game was called, but I liked it quite a bit.

So when I finally figured out how to download demos from the PlayStation Store, there was a game that looked similar, so I got it. Lo and behold, I was right, that game from Helsinki was called Nucleus.



I was able to play it for a while. There doesn't seem to be much more to it than I had seen before. Mostly racing the clock, dodging cells and grabbing sunshiny things. This is a good demo download, very much a game I would consider buying to try and play. Also, it might be a step toward world peace. I wonder if President Obama has a PS3?

Grand Theft Auto in Miniature

As I mentioned before, in the infamous pile o' games that my friend Ray lent me was one of the Grand Theft Auto games, I think it's GTA IV. I sucked at it when I tried it the first time. I even let the game sit for a bit until it became daytime in the game world so I could see better. I'm still not any better at the PS3 game but, I discovered something I like a lot more searching the App Store on iTunes - Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars Lite.

Now this is the free version of Grand Theft Auto Chinatown Wars and is designed for the iPhone. Much like The Bride with Portal, I became, and remain, obsessed. I eventually moved up to the full version for $9.99, which I have to say, is totally worth it. I love playing this almost mindless game. All that said, I still have no idea what the hell I'm doing.

After the frustration of trying to work that ever-annoying PS3 controller in the GTA IV game, I was relieved to have so much more control in the touch screen format of the iPhone. As a matter of fact, I got so skilled on the Lite version that's why I moved up. It was worth the money when I was able to actually do things.

Another reason I like this game is that it sort of has a story. Heck, it might have more of a story if I were to get farther in the game, but at the moment, I am happy where I am - causing chaos, stealing police cars and eating hot dogs. It has an obviously Chinese theme to it whereas GTA IV involved the Russian mob, not that the ethnicity of the characters or the world really matter.

You can just drive around smashing cars, running over people, and my favorite - blowing up hot dog carts, or you can go on missions like retrieving ancient family swords, shooting rival gang members, picking up taxi fares, or even delivering Chinese food. I love it. Hours of mindless and/or purposeful fun, this is the best videogame I've played so far for the PS3, um, I mean the iPhone...

I Enter the Portal

I told you earlier about The Bride's obsession with Portal and Portal 2. Well, I keep hearing, and not just from her, how fun the game was, so, with the thought in mind that I could always mute the sound and not have to deal with GLaDOS or her cake rantings, I thought I would give it a shot. God help me. I popped the Orange Box disc in. (Yes, I have finally learned how to turn the darn PS3 on by now.)

Unlike the The Bride, I wanted to try all the games on the disc, before trying Portal. I tried Team Fortress 2, and quickly learned that this was a multiplayer game. Hmmm… as much I do want to try that someday, I pass that one up for later, and move on. Keep it simple, stupid should be my mantra, after all, I can barely work the controller on this thing yet.

Then there's Half-Life 2, divided up between regular Half-Life 2, Half-Life 2 Episode One and Episode Two. I really don't get it. I was under the impression that Half-Life was some sort of zombie shooting game. In the first version on this disc I was greeted by a creepy Christopher Lee wannabe with multi-colored eyes talking gibberish at me and then dropping me off at a train station. Wow. How about some background, some instructions or something, huh? Anything?

At this point, I just think the videogame companies are just mocking me. I'm old, I wouldn't understand. I retreat to the instruction manual. It says I am Freeman, and I'm here to shoot the alien Combine who have taken over the Earth. Okay, I'm down with that, but what's with the subway station and the vague overhead marching orders. Give me something to shoot, goddamnit! Give me a gun to shoot with, and I'm not talking about the aliens, but that guy who keeps 'welcoming me to City 17.'

Next. In Episode One, I'm the same guy, only this time I have a gun, but I can't make it work. When I try it makes a whimpering sound. I'm really getting frustrated here. The intro to Episode Two is at least exciting, lots of shooting alien creatures. And then it starts… and I'm trapped in a crashed train car with no gun. Remember the old Atari days when the game started when you turned it on. To hell with this crap, I move on to Portal.

Immediately the voice of GLaDOS makes me regret trying this. At least I have a gun, but I can't kill anything with it. But it does make a noise and show a blast when it's not making portals. But it's a puzzle game, and much like the cryptic crosswords that give The Bride so much joy, it gives me a headache. Five games, and all of them a total wash for me. I'm glad The Bride enjoyed this. I don't however.

Yes, I entered the Portal, and then I jumped right back out again...

Russian to Dawn: Grand Theft Auto IV

The reputed granddaddy of this new generation of videogames could be said to be the Grand Theft Auto series of games. These offered not only an entire world (or if you like, Liberty City and its surroundings) to explore, and technically, no plan or mission, if you really don't want one. It's similar to Little BIG Planet in that way I suppose.

I popped the disc in, after asking The Bride several times how to turn the PS3 on, and watching intently as she did it to make sure I had it down. Trust me the new technology does not like me. The story plays out through the introduction and the sweeping credits sequence. Two Russian ne'er-do-wells, Nico and Roman, the cousins Bellic, come to the States in search of the American dream, and in Liberty City, that means a career in the mob it seems.

The instruction booklet is another big one, but it is not without its charm. It is set up like a tour guide, and even has advertisements and places you have to see in the city. Niiice. My only complaint, much the same as with most PS3 games, is that it seems I have to read and study for an hour before I can even play the game. Don't mind me, I'm just a grumpy old man.

The controller for the PS3 still confounds me. I try to drive but fail miserably. Those who know me personally know that I failed my driver's test several times because I was terrible at parallel parking. I am worse at driving in this game. The game begins at night, and after a while of trying, I merely waited for dawn before attempting to drive again. The daylight really helped, especially when I hit stuff - the headlights are the first to go.

While waiting in the car, I had the chance to just listen to the radio, albeit Russian dance music, but it was intriguing how much music was available for a videogame where the player sits still for many minutes. When I figured out that I could actually change the channel on the car radio, my mind was really blown, and opened up to how much music there really was. And it's not just the music, the conversation between Nico and Roman is entertaining as well.

After much much practice (see, I been playing so long I even start to sound like Cousins Bellic) I was finally able to get the car to go a little ways, and then finding interesting, most of them against my will, ways to crash the car. I suppose more practice in order. I go practice more now...

Jumping Around with My Tongue Hanging Out

One of the things that has bothered me since getting the PS3 is the serious lack of games for more than one player. After watching The Bride become mindlessly addicted to Portal and listening to that machine voice taunt her about cake repeatedly for four to five hours at a time, I became even more bothered by this fact.

My friend Crystal, trying lighten the tension of the Portal-divided household, mentioned that Little BIG Planet 2 was a game we could all play. I jumped up and immediately said (as loudly as I could over more electronic cake teasing), "Let's play that!"

I'm really not sure what the point of the game is. You get to play a creepy little crochet/canvas doll that looks like it escaped from a Jan Svankmajer movie and then you run around. Yeah, at first glance, that's about it. There's also the peculiar factor of dressing up your canvas doll. Then you run around these various worlds and play various games within the game, like racing mice or shooting cakes for instance. You are accompanied on these treks by bad disco music most of the time.

Little BIG Planet 2 should have all the charm of other no-rules-just-play games like the Grand Theft Auto games, and it does to a point, but it feels more like an acid trip than anything else. Trying to hold on to what sanity I had left, I made the most bizarre outfit for myself, and stuck my tongue out as far as it would go - mostly so I could differentiate myself from The Bride and Crystal.

In a group, you have to have first multiple controllers, and second you have to catch up with each other. No stragglers, or you'll die when the others leave you behind. You kinda all have to either be at the same skill level, or have a pro like Crystal telling you what you need to know and do. But then again, that's what all PS3 games need apparently. Perhaps there's a PS3 mentoring program?

So I spent an afternoon and a night of running around with my tongue hanging out. What it means, I still don't know. What I accomplished, I still don't know. If I can get them to eject this disc though, I want to shoot something, preferably zombies - because isn't that what videogames are all about anyway?

Sing It

I mentioned before that my first solo purchase for the PS3 was Marvel Ultimate Alliance, but I haven't talked about The Bride's. Whereas my obsessions run toward comics and monsters and the like, hers tend in other directions - Disney and singing just to name two. So it's no wonder that her first purchase was Disney Sing It Family Hits.

This 'game' came with a microphone and from all indications was no more than a glorified karaoke machine - or at least it seemed like it turned the PS3 into one. But it's more than that. Yes, it is essentially karaoke, with at least two dozen animated videos of songs direct from the Disney features along with sing-along lyrics onscreen.

That's not all it is however. You also get warm ups and lessons and tips from Anika Noni Rose, Princess Tiana from The Princess and the Frog, so you'll be able to sing and enjoy these songs better. And there are other editions, including High School Musical and Pop Hits with more songs available, among others. Each edition also features singing lessons from other Disney singers.

It's great fun for the family and kids of all ages, especially Disney fans. I know The Bride enjoyed/enjoys it.

The Power of Portal

This should answer any questions you have about the difference between my gaming experience and The Bride's. About a week after we got the PS3 we hit a place right here in Marlton called Play N Trade. It was local and less expensive than a Gamefly subscription, and the staff was friendly and helpful - even to me.

The Bride picked up The Orange Box, featuring Portal and Half-Life among a few other games. I got two older PS1 games (still compatible with the PS3) of old Atari 2600 game compilations. Specifically, I got Arcade's Greatest Hits: The Midway Collection 2 and A Collection of Activision Classic Games for the Atari 2600. Yep, that's about my speed. I feel so old. Even the guys behind the counter felt bad for me.

When we got home, The Bride put her disc right into the PS3. As of this date, I still haven't even tried my two purchases. But from that moment on, until she actually finished Portal 2, I couldn't even use the TV. She was addicted. Thus is the power of Portal.

I don't think she even ever looked at the Half-Life portions of the disc. The Bride is not a first person shooter type person, but more of a puzzle person. And apparently, while looking like the first type of game, Portal is really the second.

In the game, you play a young girl named Chell who runs around on preposterous leg stilts to make jumping easier, and a handheld teleportation device. With this 'portal gun' you make holes in this maze complex to travel toward your objective. Your opponent in this quest is an annoying artificial intelligence named GLaDOS who keeps promising you cake. Over and over and over again.

The Bride wanted this cake bad apparently because she played day and night, she played every waking moment, she played all the time it seemed. Even in my insomnia-rattled state, she was playing when I went to bed, and she was playing when I got up. And all the time, GLaDOS never shut up about that goddamn cake.

The Bride finally beat GLaDOS and was greeted with an amusing song by Jonathan Coulton, but not surprisingly, no cake. I had noticed The Bride having symptoms of withdrawl at that point so I bought her as a gift... Portal 2...

And thus the cycle began anew… I hope there's not a Portal 3...

First Contact, First Blood, Lego Batman

The night the PS3 came into our lives, we had folks over. Friends Ray, Jeff and Crystal were there for the installation and helped with all the technical stuff. They also went to the store to pick up accessories, as well as a game or two and maybe a Blu-Ray to test out the system. They knew I wasn't thrilled with the purchase, so stealthy steps were taken to soothe me.

First they, and The Bride, got a Blu-Ray, our first Blu-Ray, Megamind, a film that I actually liked. Those of you who know me, know that's hard to find. We watched, I was amazed by the crisp, clean, clarity of the picture, and was somewhat soothed. This was close to what I wanted (a Blu-Ray player or a Roku), after all.

The second purchase was a game, one that preyed upon two of my favorite things - comics and Legos. It was Lego Batman The Videogame. We've talked about me and comics before, but Legos I have always been fascinated by. It was a toy I never had when I was a kid and was always so jealous when I saw the other kids with them, so as an adult, I became a collector of sorts. Nothing hardcore, like with comics, but I have a couple building sets, and of course all the Lego (and Lego knock-off) versions of my favorite superheroes. Sigh, it worked. Sure, what the hell, let's play this.

I love the animated Lego commercials and OnDemand has something called The Lego Channel where you can see animated shorts featuring Lego versions of Indiana Jones, Star Wars, and yes, Batman. These are just darn good fun. The introduction to this game is similar to that, and quite enjoyable. The game itself is also like that, but let's face it, once you're playing - you can only do cool things if you know how to do cool things.

Like the bits on the Lego Channel, there is no dialogue so that anyone from any culture can understand what's going on. The problem is, with no English, it also makes it hard on nimrods like me to play it properly. Yes, I do know about the online instruction manuals on the PlayStation Network - and once I figure out how to navigate that, I'm sure that's a useful suggestion. And I sure hope you like the Danny Elfman theme music from the Tim Burton Batman movies or you'll have to play this one on mute.

The game itself is kinda hard once it starts. I don't know what the hell I'm doing. Why? Controllers. I think this will be a recurring theme of this blog, I just can't get my head around the controllers. I am quite honestly better acquainted with Atari joysticks, and maybe a little less so with NES controllers. To me, the PS3 controller is like giving an MP3 player to a caveman. I can push buttons, but I have little idea what they do. So I just push all the buttons and move the levers every which way and hope for the best.

I love the mime personalities of all the Bat-baddies, especially Clayface. It's a hoot, until you're actually in play. I was able to play a two-player game with The Bride that first night while Crystal was there to walk us through everything and tell us what buttons to push when. Hey, we actually got through the first level.

I have to admit though, I had more fun using my Batman to beat on The Bride's Robin. Yeah, that's pretty cool being able to fight other players. And when you 'kill' them (as much as there's a kill in Lego Batman) they just fall apart into their component Lego pieces. That always breaks me up, pun intended. When I play by myself days later, I get nowhere near as far as I did that first night, but I loved busting up Robin, over and over and over again. Too much fun.

There is hope, of course, that I will eventually learn to play correctly. As soon as I figure out how to get this disc out of the damned machine...