Pixels

Pixels ~ Right out of the box, this movie had more than a few things against it, first and foremost is that it stars Adam Sandler. Now admittedly, I don't hate Adam Sandler as much as I used to. The Wedding Singer is actually pretty darn good, and there are a couple others that don't make me want to blind myself with scissors immediately when they come on. It also stars Kevin James as the President of the United States. I'll just leave that right there and let that little nugget fry into your brain before I even get to the plot of this one.

Now follow along, folks. Back in the eighties days of videogames and arcades, Sandler and James were champions, along with Josh Gad (the dimwitted but lovable snowman from Disney's Frozen) and believe it or not, Peter Dinklage (who I hope fired his agent for this). Today, they are pretty much losers - yes, including President Kevin James, the others being a electronics installer, a criminal, a conspiracy theorist, and an ineffectual President.

The bad news is that all those years ago video footage of their tournament was sent into space by NASA, and now that footage has been answered by an alien race who believe it to be a declaration of war. These misguided but powerful enemies begin to attack Earth using videogames as their weapons, a la 'the form of the destructor' from the original Ghostbusters. Yes, we get attacked by Galaga on the aliens' first strike.

The situation gets worse from there as Centipede and Pac-Man attack and the president recruits his old friends to 'fight fire with fire,' as only old school videogamers know how to beat the bad guys at their own, pardon the pun, game. It gets old real quick. Now normally I steer clear of Adam Sandler flicks, but this juicy and explicit video review (not safe for work or kids) made it impossible to pass up. I just had to see this train wreck.

What is interesting to me is that before anyone, Ghosthead or not, spoke up about how the remake/reboot/re-imagining of Ghostbusters was ruining their childhood, the same accusations were made at this movie… and in this case, I can kinda see it. I grew up in the era of these videogames, and it does kinda feel like these people are taking a crap on my childhood.

Now it's not as bad as the above reviewer says, but it is pretty awful. If it wasn't for free cable I would be complaining much more loudly. It's watchable, and the kids might enjoy it more than adults, but then again, they won't have the slightest clue about these games or the other dated pop culture references here. And Peter Dinklage should be ashamed of himself…

Spacewar Simplicity

Just as videogames were advancing past simple lines like Asteroids and Combat, and moving past more complicated stuff like Space Invaders, and into the world of Donkey Kong and beyond, I had a favorite called Spacewar. I liked its simplicity, two ships made of digital lines, flying along shooting at each other, and occasionally going into 'hyperspace' a la the aforementioned Asteroids. Little did I know it had a long and storied history.

The game was originally developed in 1961 by MIT students, inspired by the Lensmen series by E.E. Smith. Two spaceships, the 'needle' and the 'wedge,' maneuver around the gravity well of a star, and try to destroy each other with ray weapons. Based on a simple joystick, there were a few options - thrust, fire, turn left, turn right, and of course hyperspace, that last of which would teleport your ship elsewhere on the screen.

I used to love it, and remember one such machine at the arcade at the Atco Raceway, which we always called The Drag. My friends thought it was boring, and had moved on to the more complex games of the early 1980s, but I always had a soft spot for Spacewar. Apparently Atari made a version of it for the 2600 called Space War, but I don't ever recall seeing it, and therefore never obtained one. I might start looking now that I know about it.

Whatever Happened to the Arcade?

Whatever happened to the arcade? I could just as well ask whatever happened to the mall, as for the most part, that's gone as well, or at least its function as a hangout for teenagers and adults young at heart alike. Back in the day, and I'm talking the 1970s and 1980s, the mall was the place to be. It was where you wanted to be, and where you wanted to work. It had everything. The record store, the fast food joint, the movie theater, the food court, for the nerds the book/game/comics store, and of course the crème de la crème, the arcade.

Every mall had its arcade. Cherry Hill, Echelon, Deptford, Moorestown, Burlington, some had two, heck even the Berlin Farmers Market had its own arcade. As videogames entered its golden age, arcades were everywhere. Malibu Grand Prix took prominence. There was Bally's across from the Cherry Hill Mall, the Galaxy (not the rock club) on Route 70, and even in my own hometown Atco, we had the Sweet Shop on the main drag, Atco Avenue.

Most of the mall arcades began as pinball places but moved forward with the times. The Sweet Shop in Atco started as a penny candy place, thus the name, but soon became something else all together. I remember when they first opened, they had one machine, a tank game, which may or may not have been Atari's Combat. In a very short time they added a poolroom in the back, got rid of the candy counter, and filled the front room with videogame machines. I loved playing Space Invaders and Astro Fighter there notably, and remember how the place was always filled with smoke.

As home video systems advanced beyond Pong and the Atari 2600, there soon was little reason to leave the house to play videogames. It took a long tme, but it eventually happened. I remember seeing my first NES in 1982 at a college friend's house, Donkey Kong, groundbreaking graphics for the time. If you could have that at home, why go to the mall?

While there are some still around, some even as nostalgia museums like Barcade, the arcade is for the most part dead. I think the last tiny one I know of was gotten rid of when the Marlton 8 theatre was remodeled. Malls are dead too, some crushed by 'forward thinking' opportunists, look at what used to be the Echelon Mall for an example of that. That place ironically does have an arcade of sorts, more skeeball and the like than videogames, but still. I guess home gaming and social media have killed the mall and the arcade, and it's a shame.

Wreck-It Ralph

This review, in a slightly altered form, has already appeared on my pop culture blog, Welcome to Hell. Since it's videogame topical, I figured I'd share it here too. Enjoy.

First things first, Wreck-It Ralph being a Disney/Pixar flick, we get a Pixar cartoon before the main feature. "Paperman" was a sweet short utilizing different animation than usual for Pixar, and it also had a bit of a Japanese anime vibe to it. I liked it a lot, a big reason to see this movie is to see "Paperman" first.

Wreck-It Ralph, the newest from Disney/Pixar, is loosely at first glance a cross between Toy Story and Tron. Like the first movie we discover that the entities in our videogames actually live, especially when we're not looking, and like the second flick we discover that they live in their own little universe with its own physical and moral laws, all within the confines of one arcade.

Wreck-It Ralph is the bad guy in a game called Fix-It Felix, Jr., essentially close to Donkey Kong in many ways. Ralph, shunned by the other denizens of his game, determines to leave his game and make good. He goes off to Hero's Duty, a hybrid of Halo and Starship Troopers, to win a medal, and recognition. When things go awry, he becomes stranded in Sugar Rush, a mix of Mario Kart and Candyland. There, Ralph must decide if truly is the bad guy, or a hero.

It's a complex plot that is quite dark in places, but for the most part, it's an enjoyable journey through 1980s videogame nostalgia. It has a sharp sense of humor, great characters, and the voice work of John C. Reilly, Sarah Silverman, and especially Jane Lynch is first class. There are also many cameos of classic videogame characters that make the flick a real treat.

An added trivia bonus for old school videogamers is the song that plays over the closing credits, "Wreck It, Wreck-It Ralph" by Jerry Buckner, formerly of Buckner & Garcia of "Pac-Man Fever" fame.

I liked Wreck-It Ralph quite a bit, and while I wonder if this might be over or under the heads of some folks who weren't into, or alive for, 1980s arcade games, I highly recommend it. Great flick.

The Non-Gamer

The non-gamer - that's me. I'm old, horribly horribly old, almost fifty. Gosh, it hurts to even type that. Like I said, I'm old, and I'm not a gamer, at least not by today's standards. So if I'm not a gamer, why am I writing this blog? Good question.

My background in videogames is being around for the birth of Atari, specifically Pong. Yeah, you remember Pong, and if you don't, you probably saw pictures of it painted in animal blood on cave walls. Pong was the first of the Atari 2600 videogames, and the shot heard round the world that triggered an electronic revolution in the world of games and hobbies.

Pong was followed by fun stuff like Space Invaders and later personal favorites Starmaster, Adventure, and Yar's Revenge and even Donkey Kong. That last one was a keeper. It triggered the jump to the next generation of videogame, and also the point where I got lost. I had an Atari 2600, but I didn't get a Nintendo system until 1998, way beyond when it was cool or even cutting edge - and even then it wasn't my idea to get the system. I was dragged kicking and screaming into the videogame age.

A Super Nintendo system followed later, but only so I could play geek favorites of mine - Justice League Task Force and Super Godzilla, notably the only two games ever purchased for the system. Up until a few weeks ago, that was as cutting edge as I got. Then the PS3 came into the house.

This was a surprise, but apparently something The Bride had been thinking about for a while. I had initially asked for a Roku or a Blu-Ray player for Christmas but Santa was not accommodating. The Bride thought a PS3 would service both functions and have games so she got one. And here we are.

There's an old joke that the only thing that separates a full-time freelance writer from an unemployed bum is a videogame system. To keep that balance from claiming me, I'm starting this blog, recording my impressions as a decisive non-gamer into the gaming world of PlayStation. I'll try not to be too stupid or naïve, and maybe we'll all learn something. Welcome to my nightmare.